everniam:

keep your friends close and your laptop charger closer

(via gnarly)



hotsingledads:

what do you mean im still fat i did a sit up 3 years ago

(via dicks-on-fire-tonight)


(via davesjake)


visenyatargaryyen:

laughtercues:

kingjohnkat:

redphonebox:

just so we’re clear, i use

dude

bro

man

gurl

babe

bby

loser

as gender-neutral and affectionate names

don’t forget son

What am I forgetting dad

image

You have forgotten who you are, and so forgotten me.

(via igotocatholicschool)



baby: d... d... d...
father: ...dad? omg you are going to say dad as your first word!!!
baby: d... dONT WANNA BE AN AMERICAN IDIOT
baby: *guitar sounds from baby's mouth*

high-school-fling:

spicy-vagina-tacos:

freezerburnt-capsicle:

dontbeanassbutt:

boy, blowjobs sure are a mouthful

jeez, that pun was hard for me to swallow

penis

thanks for your contribution

(via thetomska)


mrsjacewayland-herondale:

americansavior:

itsjustsatanthings:

cumber-bitches:

caswantsdeansassbutt:

cumber-bitches:

cumber-bitches:

I have fruit polos and lollypops be jealous.

omg do many people not know what fruit polos are? they are heaven

image

image

image

In America, we call them lifesavers. They can be chewy or hard candy. 

polos aren’t chewy and they also come in mint.

image

image

this week on: britan thinks its special

Lmfao

(via imboredletsgohome)


fleurelei:

rosefire:

gaywitch-practisingabortion:

situationalstudent:

purplespacecats:

professorbutterscotch:

kiskolee:

THIS.

I have never thought about it in this context
that’s actually really, really creepy.

I… fuck.

Yeah, basically.

I once pointed this out to my mother and she just stared at me, in stunned silence for ages. 

There will always be a girl who is less sober, less secure, with less friends walking in a darker part of town. I want her safe just as much as I want me safe.

Well shit

fleurelei:

rosefire:

gaywitch-practisingabortion:

situationalstudent:

purplespacecats:

professorbutterscotch:

kiskolee:

THIS.

I have never thought about it in this context

that’s actually really, really creepy.

I… fuck.

Yeah, basically.

I once pointed this out to my mother and she just stared at me, in stunned silence for ages. 

There will always be a girl who is less sober, less secure, with less friends walking in a darker part of town. I want her safe just as much as I want me safe.

Well shit

(via imboredletsgohome)